Archive for “September, 2014”

Is it worth waiting for?

By Jay Darling

What if, instead of waiting for everything to be perfect, you start living your dreams today, to any degree that you can?

The time is now illustrationMaybe there really are land mines in your front yard. Perhaps your family members or neighbors or co-workers or agents of the devil really are secretly working to undermine all of your greatest efforts. It could be true that your house will be under water in just a few years due to rising ocean levels. Your broken heart may never mend. Your children might wring out every ounce of energy that you have.

And it’s still your life. So how are you creating your day today? And how are you choosing to feel about it all? Zoom up above it all for a minute. It might not be easy at first, but Alan has as the only bumper sticker on his truck, “Don’t believe everything you think.”

That is, don’t take everything so seriously at face value, loaded with tons of weight and years of momentum.

Like you, we dream big at Cascadia Workshops. It is astounding what one can accomplish in one day. THIS DAY! We take the following quote to heart:

“There’s so much time in a day. You could have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on 3 different continents. You could outline the book you’re going to write, start the screenplay adaptation, and watch “Gone With The Wind,” before the sun even sets.

Spend a day at work, and still have 16 hours left over. Or you could just think 60,000 different thoughts as you tool all over your town.

Hey, the record for climbing Mt. Everest is under 9 hours, leaving 15 to nap and go Yeti searching.

There’s so much time in a day. So much. “

~ by Mike Dooley – ‘Notes from the Universe’

If you are in action, that’s fantastic. High five to you! If you are slow or stuck, congratulations! Something is gestating inside of you and it might be born in one minute or next week. But it might take some pushing. It might take something crazy like having somebody else make dinner tonight, skipping work tomorrow or canceling those weekend plans.

Maybe we are dreamers. Ok, we are. And we’re proud of it. We invite you to feel the fullness of your own dreams and visions for how you see your life and the world. There are so many unmet needs that we just get accustomed to, thinking that there is no way that ________ (you fill in the blank). Then what happens when you flip that on it’s back and think the opposite? And what is the next step to make that happen?

Map it out.

Do it. We invite you. Or if you prefer, we dare you!

Here is a great inspirational set of “commandments” although we might pose that they are instead “inspirational mandates.” And we realize that there is definitely some judgmental language in here, but we think you will get the idea.

 

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

*Note: This set of great ideas was even written on the wall of Mother Theresa’s Calcutta care facility for people in need.

We have your back. And the time to choose is now.

 

Huge Amount of Inspiration for One Low Price

A Path With Heart: Telesummit on NVC and Social Change – Recordings and Transcriptions

A Path With Heart 18 interviews and transcriptions with 7 bonus interviews

  • Discover leading-edge social change work that is truly creating a difference
  • Hear in-depth interviews with some of the world’s best-known Nonviolent Communication trainers
  • Get inspired with stories, tools and resources

We’ve brought together an amazing team of teachers and leaders who reveal valuable practical social change applications of Nonviolent Communication including Robert Gonzales, Miki Kashtan, Dominic Barter, Rabbi Michael Lerner and over 20 others.

Learn more on the A Path With Heart website

 

 

Complete and Powerful Training

Blackbelt Communication Skills (NVC), Deep Fundamentals

Deep Fundamentals 5-Audio Disc Course plus Step by Step Guide

Gain valuable tools and mindsets that are proven to:

  • Create exceptional personal and professional relationships
  • Prevent and resolve misunderstandings and conflicts
  • Speak your mind effectively
  • Create mutual understanding without coercion

5 CDs’-worth of audio with a 99-page PDF that breaks down the NVC curriculum into 9 “steps.”

Complete with examples, exercises and worksheets.

Learn more

5 Communication Guidelines for Change Agents

Do you have the feeling that you are a passenger on the Titanic and you can see the iceberg ahead? Why can’t everyone see it? Its huge! Immediate Course Change Needed! Red Alert! WeeOooWeeOoo!

change course now - cartoon

Thanks to David Horsey and Tribune Content Agency for permission ~          © 2014 Tribune Content Agency

Five communication guidelines can help you as a change agent and positive change maker. Odds are good that you have conversations with people about how important it is that we address the major problems in our economic, ecological and social systems. Do you sound something like this?

“Let’s get real! The poor are getting poorer as the wealthiest people smoke cigars made out of 100 dollar bills. Media corporations are being consolidated and internet neutrality is becoming a bandwidth pipe dream. Climate change is ruining farms and spoiling family vacations. Big business farms are engorged with viagra-like genetically-modified food varieties. Invasive non-native plants are engulfing my grandpa’s old abandoned truck. The Girl Scouts are partnering with Mattel’s Barbie Doll product line, for crying out loud! We need big changes now!”

Ok. Maybe your conversations sound a little different.

Perhaps you are already aware that the way you share your message is as important as the message.  If we deliver important information to decision makers with compassion, curiosity and respect, there is a better chance that we will be heard in the way we want to. The most effective way you can help to create changes is to keep calm and clear, even if the other person has a more adversarial approach. A little lightness and humor never hurts either. Keep passion tucked into your pocket, not on your sleeve. If you are going to speak with passion, be sure to communicate in a way that does not blame, criticize, or put-down others.

Shame and blame are guaranteed to sink a conversation, along with righteousness and judgment. They don’t allow for as much of an opportunity for true connection, safety and trust to grow. Those connections are crucial to developing win-win strategies that people can buy into and will sustain us in navigating the stormy seas of change.

Consider the difference between the following two statements made to a decision-maker:

“People just don’t realize how much their desire for a steaming latte’ in a throwaway cup is affecting our future generations. Changes in policies and practices need to happen now!”

OR

“The quality of life for myself and my grandchildren is something that I have concerns about. I am working to increase efficiencies and reduce waste in our daily lives. I have these educational resources and policy changes that I was wondering if we could talk about for 10 minutes.”

Consider that without the following essential communication flotation devices, your conversations and great ideas will go down with the ship.

  1. Walk with compassion – Treat others people with intentional kindness, care and respect, knowing that everyone is doing their best they can with the circumstances.
  2. Listen more than speaking – Empathy is pure presence. When in doubt, or if you think it’ll serve the connection, reflect back what you are hearing them say. When others have a chance to be heard first, there is a much greater chance that you will be heard by them. Give them the experience that you understand their perspective (which is different than agreeing).
  3. Find the common needs – Discover with that person, in curiosity, what values you share. For example, maybe you both value efficiency in the use of financial and natural resources, or a shared caring that future generations have the same opportunities as we have.
  4. Rehearse and state your ideas and strategies clearly and concisely –  If in doubt that your message is getting through you can request that they restate your points to be sure that you were clear enough. This will confirm whether or not they understand what you are saying, which is good to know before going too far into a conversation.
  5. Set up ways to follow through with them – One conversation does not necessarily make changes. Approach your conversations so that they include the potential for future conversations. Sometimes the thing you’re wanting, and a mutually enriching solution, may be seven conversations down the line.

Sail on! If you are looking for a bright lighthouse to help keep you off the rocks, set your course for into greater personal power and compassion. Get the mindsets and tools that will let you stand in your power while also staying compassionate and connected to yourself and others. Build powerful relationships with yourself and others with these invaluable Nonviolent Communication Tools and much more.

 

Complete and Powerful Training

Blackbelt Communication Skills (NVC), Deep Fundamentals

Deep Fundamentals 5-Audio Disc Course plus Step by Step Guide

Gain valuable tools and mindsets that are proven to:

  • Create exceptional personal and professional relationships
  • Prevent and resolve misunderstandings and conflicts
  • Speak your mind effectively
  • Create mutual understanding without coercion

5 CDs’-worth of audio with a 99-page PDF that breaks down the NVC curriculum into 9 “steps.”

Complete with examples, exercises and worksheets.

Learn more

 

Huge Amount of Inspiration for One Low Price

A Path With Heart: Telesummit on NVC and Social Change – Recordings and Transcriptions

A Path With Heart 18 interviews and transcriptions with 7 bonus interviews

  • Discover leading-edge social change work that is truly creating a difference
  • Hear in-depth interviews with some of the world’s best-known Nonviolent Communication trainers
  • Get inspired with stories, tools and resources

We’ve brought together an amazing team of teachers and leaders who reveal valuable practical social change applications of Nonviolent Communication including Robert Gonzales, Miki Kashtan, Dominic Barter, Rabbi Michael Lerner and over 20 others.

Learn more on the A Path With Heart website