18 thoughts on “How to DO Empathy

    1. Hi Marcelline:
      I am honored that you liked it.
      I appreciate your feedback too, and in the future will define what I mean by “short” — or at least just give a length.
      Sending my warmest regards,

  1. Hola Alan!

    What a wonderful synthesis. I have enjoyed seeing you stay present and use such accessible examples in the video, and was thrilled to reminisce of your generous time teaching us NVC in Costa Rica. Much love to you and your family.

    Sergio Guillen,
    San Jose, Costa Rica.

    1. ¡Hola, Sergio!
      Long time, my friend.
      I often think of you when I tell the environmental mediation story about the environmentalists, the pig farmers, and the river.
      I hope you and yours are thriving.
      un abrazo apretado,

  2. Alan,
    I love your comparison between sympathy and empathy and all your empathy examples. It’s definitely a topic that I need to pay attention to more. I look forward to more of your awesome videos.

    1. Thank you, Kim! I appreciate you taking the time to watch! If you think of specific topics I should address in future videos let me know!

  3. Hi Alan; It is wonderful to see you, even if only on video. I have posted your link to a forum which has become home for me.

    I realize that for the most part, the world and the things thereof are not thought of in spiritual terms- perhaps our joint purpose will lead us all to redefine spirituality and the world in the process of working together.

    Here is some of what I commented on: “Here is a dear friend doing ‘his thing’. I’m sharing it with you because I find him beautiful too.

    Some observations I have found during my time knowing him and the effects of ‘his method’, are that he is genuine. I mean by that that he truly has an inbuilt awareness and he keeps this connection to this awareness that there is a ‘better way’.

    I have noticed too that at times, others who have some understanding of what this form of communication is, and what it does, tend to take the ‘techniques’ and apply them with the same intellectual tendencies which may have caused the trouble in the first place. In other words, it is used as a means to serve a personal agenda. of their own.

    But if there is no hidden agenda, nothing other than letting the Holy Spirit guide and Be The presence NOW, it is a process which facilitates moving into the Holy Instant.”

    Here on this page, and In terms of what you say and do Alan, or in regard to ‘doing empathy’, the words I would choose (instead of the ones chosen above) are that in order for there to be true empathy, there really does need to be that ‘checking out’, that being totally willing and fearless, to simply be the presence that listens.

    I have benefited tremendously from what ‘you do’.
    Barbara B
    Maple Falls

    1. Hi Barbara:

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. (And thank you for the link you sent; I’ll check it out.)

      I appreciate your kind words!


  4. The subtleness of how we are empathetic in the moment is a feeling that is emanated and makes connection ~ stepping out of the observer to the participant connecting in a moment and time = shared heart soul mind ~ goal : if we each chose love and kindness in every single second ~ unconditionally giving to the moment at hand we will know peace.
    * Empathy is the capacity to, through consciousness rather than physically, share the sadness or happiness of another sentient being.
    be rather than do
    em·pa·thy noun /ˈempəTHē/ 
    1. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another

    1. Hi Allain.
      Thank you for taking the time to comment!
      I like your emphasis on being. It seems to highlight the irony in the title of my video, since a lot of what I’m telling people that what they need to DO is just BE (be super present)! Empathy can become such a vague wishy-washy thing for so many people, in this video I wanted to lay it out in an actionable way, so that people can actually practice empathy, and cultivate more of it in our collective experience.
      Of the over one dozen definitions for empathy, I find them all beautiful. Clarity about which one we’re using contributes to the exploration which is this conversation.
      Thank you again for taking the time!

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