Years ago I trained in Aikido. Aikido is a martial art that is not based on kicking someone’s butt. Rather it is based on the ability to neutralize an attack in a way that preserves the integrity of both parties.
The parallels between Aikido and Marshall Rosenberg’s process Nonviolent Communication (NVC) are rich, deep, and varied.
The following is a traditional Japanese story about Heaven and Hell that I read in an Aikido book, the title and author of which I’ve long forgotten. But the folk story stayed with me.
Once upon a time there was a virtuous prince who upon death was visited by his guardian angel who said, “You have been very virtuous, so I am taking you to Heaven. But before I take you there, I will grant you one wish.”
The prince desired to witness Hell so that he would know what he was missing.
In Hell, he saw a long banquet table laid out with the most sumptuous banquet you can imagine. Around the table were people who had three-foot long chopsticks attached to their pinky and forefinger, such that they could not feed themselves.
Everyone looked gaunt, hungry, irritated, and miserable. Because they could not feed themselves, they spent their entire time knocking food out of one another’s chopsticks.
When he got to Heaven, he saw a long banquet table laid out with the most sumptuous banquet you can imagine. Around the table were people who had three-foot long chopsticks attached to their pinky and forefinger, such that they could not feed themselves.
Everyone looked happy, well-fed, and were participating in engaging conversation.
Because they could not feed themselves, they spent their entire time extending food to one another.
On Earth, this is the difference between Heaven and Hell.