When I was a child, my mother said to me, “Alan, life is about learning and growing. That’s what life is about. You can never stop learning and growing.”
Of course, back then, they were just words. I was little.
When I was 17, she said to me, “Alan, my parenting work is done. You see, your mind is like a garden. I’ve done what I could as far as planting the seeds of my values there, but so has television and mainstream culture. But now it is your garden. You get to choose what to keep and what to weed out. You get to choose what you harvest and whether you make a soup or a salad. But my work is done.”
My question is, “is wisdom something that can be passed on?”
It seems my mom had a lot of it, but it’s not wisdom if I believe it blindly. Something like life is about learning and growing is just words, until I make the truth of it mine. Until I live it.
One thing about the phrase “life is about learning and growing” is that everything flows from there. If life is about something more than learning and growing, we’d certainly find out through our continued learning and growing.
Very simple operating instructions.
What are you passing on? Can it pass the test of time? When do you let go and allow it to be the other person’s entirely?
I’ve enjoyed reading this post and thinking about your questions. I agree that someone else’s wisdom is not mine until I live it and make it my own.
As for your last three questions…I don’t concern myself with what I might be passing on or whether or not it will pass the test of time. I believe in sharing what seems like golden nuggets about life….what really inspires me and reflects what I see a basically brilliant, true and beautiful. If that is meaningful or valuable to others than that’s great! If not, then that’s OK too.
As for the third question:
‘When do I let go and allow it to be the other person’s entirely?’ I let go as soon as it leaves my mouth. Sometimes I really enjoy it if what I share, that seems like wisdom to me, will be appreciated and helpful to others but I’ve learned that it’s not up to me how they receive it.
Your mother seems to have a lot of wisdom. I love the garden metaphor. I don’t have children so I don’t have a parental instinct to pass on values, instructions or wisdom to my child. But I do have a desire to contribute meaningful insights and to celebrate the beauty of discovered wisdom.
I am involved in group that meets regularly to share on spiritual topics, and to listen to each other, giving and receiving support. There are moments when wisdom comes through in what people share. We each are like gardens and the one speaking is sometimes planting seeds of wisdom in each of our gardens. These seeds of wisdom may or may not sprout/grow in others’ beings….or they might sprout later. The format of our meetings is simple. We have a topic, or a short reading. Then individuals may share if they wish. We keep the sharing to not more than 5 minutes each, so as many people as possible can share. No one can interrupt the speaker or go into debate or discussion mode. This simple format creates a safe container that engenders what I experience as group empathy….a quality of non-judgemental attention and presence that is non-reactive, compassionate yet detached. It is in this kind of atmosphere that wisdom seems to emerge and flow from the participants and to the participants.
When people are not being advised or educated when they don’t want to be, and when they aren’t being criticized, then pearls of wisdom have more of a chance of being received and valued. So it seems like the quality of the relationship will impact how well one’s wisdom is passed on to others.
Angela
Thank you, Angela!
Great points.
Also, your group sounds really cool!