You suck at conflict

Rather than too much conflict, an even greater problem in the world is the widespread avoidance of conflict.

We’re just not good at conflict. So we avoid it, which in many cases creates more conflict.

Underneath our conflict-avoidant compulsion is usually a universal need for harmony, along with needs for ease and conservation of energy. Understandable.

We also avoid it because we don’t trust our skills. My skills give me great confidence in conflict situations.

But we often avoid conflict at the expense of being authentic. We hide or suppress our truth to avoid conflict. How does this serve?

People are killing each other because they don’t know how to work it out.

Conflict is inevitable because we have different perspectives.

Conflict is not bad.

It is an opportunity for increased connection, intimacy, joy, and creative win-win solutions.

So please, learn to get good at doing conflict.

Looking forward to the next part. One thing I ctnioe is that as a less-empowered person in a classist social mess, being the change I want to see is often futile once I bump up against those who are more/totally-empowered; the structure of disempowering by the empowered necessarily means the only way such a structure can change is by those who are maintaining and running it have to change; people completely external to me and well beyond my social groups or circles. While inspiring, being the change for a lower class person really ends up meaning, just try not to be a jerk and duck when you hear the sirens/lower your gaze in the presence of the powerful/authorities (deference, though humiliating, will usually save one’s butt).I guess for people down here with me, it’s more a matter of waiting on others to fix the system they setup and rigged for themselves at my expense, then when those structural changes have been made by those others, I’ll have practiced enough on my own little limited level to step up and partner-up in such a new/changed structure.OTOH, the one or two times something like that has occurred, albeit on a much more limited level, the empowered quickly realize they don’t want lowers to be their partners in these new structures and quickly shut it down and go back to the old way. I’ve seen progressive organizations do this frequently (revert back to their cults of personality rather than actually sustain the more vulnerable/democratic changed structures). Again, for the lower class person, being the change is strictly personal. For any actual change to occur, it has to come from the empowered owning class who made things the way they are and established the corresponding rules. The intersection of personal growth and social change for us is outside our own spheres of influence. Hopefully it won’t always be that way, but that’s not up to the lowers, only the owners.

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